Genesis: Made for relationship

Genesis 2:18-25 ESV

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,

"This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Rev. Dwight Yoo

Made for relationships

Consider creation up to this point. Everything is good. But then God says that Adam's alone-ness was NOT good. Adam goes through all the animals... Not one was suitable. So we can say this verse was to show the first feeling of loneliness. Not good. There is an innate need for relationship within us. This is from our creation in the image of God. God is himself a community, relating between the Trinity. Man is meant to live as a community with relationships. It is part of what makes us human. We want to be vulnerable, accepted, and loved faithfully. Not only in marriage, but also our friendships.

Mangling of relationships

We hurt others. Rejection, self-centered, not sharing and hiding ourselves, etc. That is what we do and what is done to us.

We are meant to be in relationship with God first.  When our relationship with God is broken, our relationships with others break down. As we will see next week, Adam and Eve reject God going into shame and divisiveness. One generation later, the culmination of broken relationship in the murder of Abel by Cain.

Mending relationships

Jesus died to repair relationships. Both our relationship with God and with others. He empowers us in our friendships and in our marriages. God is always with us. So in all these things God is with us. That is our Jesus. We move towards others as Jesus moved heaven and earth to be with us. So those of us who have seen and understand, can move towards others. We can be vulnerable because all our sins and weaknesses are covered by the blood and righteousness of Christ. We no longer have to care about what others think of us. We can be accepting. Considering that we are all sinners before God, we can accept others. Their struggles, their sins. We can forgive and be with them. Through all things.

Even when others are not loving in this way, we are still called to love this way. Persist in living this way, and we may have a softening effect on others. The other person may mature and emulate our way of loving others.

Maturing and modeling effect of relationship

We were created for relationship. When we entered into relationship with God, we have also entered into relationship with all others joined with Christ. All other christians! This is not voluntary.

It is through deep relational investment that you mature and grow. (Hebrews 3:12-13) Sin deceives. This deception hardens us. We have sins not yet uncovered. These deep relationships uncover our blind spots.

"intentional intrusive, Christ-centered, grace-driven, and redemptive relationship" - Paul Tripp

We are to mirror Christ, each in a different way with different spiritual gifts. Not a single person on mission, but teams of people working to reflect the glory of God. This will attract non-christians. A group that loves radically, shares intimately, accepts fully is different from the world.

John 13:35

Church Matters: Disciple

1 Corinthians 5:1-13 ESV

It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord. Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. "Purge the evil person from among you."

A community that takes discipline seriously will do more for your spiritual growth than any interesting sermon will.

This message will not be popular with the culture around us.

How it is the mark of a gospel centered church

Paul is not surprised that this man is in a relationship with his step-mom. This was so beyond the pale even the pagans didn't tolerate it. Corinth is known for wild behavior, but even this is something they didn't tolerate.

Paul is appalled by how the church is acting in this situation. The church in Corinth had a gospel with grace that had no bound in behavior. It doesn't challenge or call people to live differently. This gospel does not call us to hate sin and cheapens grace.

The motivation of church discipline

We are God's holy people.

"Cleansing the old leaven" means instead of using yeast they used spoiled dough to make their bread rise. Why get rid of all the leaven? Because this can cause effects to the entire batch of dough. A little sin can cause contamination to the whole of the dough. We are not cleansing to become pure. God calls us pure, therefore cleanse yourselves of find. We are holy, so act accordingly.

We are God's family.

The LORD disciplines those he loves. All good discipline comes from love. We also need to be willing to cause some pain in the cause of loving them. We discipline those within the family, not non-believers. "Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? Our lifestyle is to match the faith we profess.

We are God's ambassadors.

Whether we like it or not, we represent God on earth. Non-believers look to the church for a glimpse of God. What appeal do we have for the glory of Christ to those who don't know Him? To act otherwise is to dirty the image of God to unbelievers.

The method of church discipline
Kicking people out and handing people over to Satan is not the first step of church discipline. This is the last resort.

How you go: gently and humbly

Galatians 6:1 ESV
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

This should happen informally and privately on a regular basis, especially within community groups.

Matthew 18:15-17 ESV
"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.  But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

The process looks like this:

One-on-one (informal)
Bring one or two along (informal)
Tell it to the church (formal)
Treat them as unbeliever (formal)

To get from informal to formal discipline,  judgement comes from an unrepentant heart, as a characteristic. Not just fighting greed, but just straight greedy. There is not  any attempt to fight sin. There is no fruit that is found in those who have the Spirit. No evidence of life-saving faith. Then we are called to treat them as unbelievers; one in need of the gospel. The reason to push him out of the church is to show him or her that they have strayed from the path of Christ. We are not to be mean to them. We are to call them to repentance, just like any unbeliever. To follow the one LORD and Savior.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Holiness: Invincible Love

Romans 8:29-39 ESV

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,

"For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered."

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Rev. Dwight Yoo

One of the hardest things is not just understanding God's love, but knowing in our hearts.

God's love Secures our holiness

Anyone who has fought sin knows how hard it is. It seems like an uphill battle. We don't need much for or hearts to wander from God.

But God holds us tightly in His hands. It does not depend on our grip on Him. He holds us securely.

Before we were even born, God loved us. Like a pregnant couple, loving and caring for a baby yet unborn.

God is the one who wants us holy. He always accomplishes what He promises. Our holiness is secure.

God's love Fuels our holiness

Even through big failures and trials, God is working through it all. Knowing this, we can keep going.

Before preaching on sin, there is all this talk of love. Why? They need to know the enormous greatness of the love of Christ.

Threats only work for the short term. Outward conformity does not work. Love is what we need. That is what grows us into holiness like Christ.

Sin struggles and life struggles make us doubt the love of God. We think that because of sin, we are less, we are condemned. But that is a lie. We are not second rate; we are God's chosen. We are bound by the guilt of our sins and struggles. Jesus wants to set us free from them. He paid for those sins.

Trying to assess God's love through our circumstances is how we run into trouble. He loves me, He loves me not. God gave us His most precious treasure, His son. That is how we assess God's love of us. Jesus is the love of God. In His life and death and resurrection, we see the love of God.

God's love Shapes our holiness

Holiness is not the same among all religions. We are to be shaped into Jesus' likeness. His defining work is humbling Himself according to will of the Father for the sake of others. That is holiness. We are called to suffer for the faith, for the will of God. It is not some sort of abstract concept. We are to suffer according to the will of Father for the sake of others. We are not to devote our lives to earthly comfort, rather we are to move towards need. We are secured in God, even when we lose comfort, we suffer.

Good Friday

Luke 7:36-47 ESV

One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee's house and took his place at the table. And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner." And Jesus answering said to him, "Simon, I have something to say to you."  And he answered, "Say it, Teacher." "A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.  When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?"  Simon answered, "The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt." And he said to him, "You have judged rightly."  Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.  You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet.  You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment.
Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little."  And he said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

Rev. Dwight Yoo

This woman of the city is really a prostitute. She was a sinner. She came with expensive perfume and anointed his feet with it. She wiped her feet with her hair and tears.

In breaking this jar, she had committed everything to Jesus. Once the jar is opened by breaking the neck open, you would not be able to save any of it. She came prepared and ready to serve Jesus.

Simon was not. He believed that sinners could taint the righteous. Jesus challenged this. Simon was here to trap and ensnare Jesus. Simon offered no hospitality, no actions of respect. He was there to investigate Jesus.

The woman was a hooker and always looked down. All the religious officials would have said that she had no way to be acceptable before God. Constant shame and condemnation was her lot and when she died, she could expect nothing other than rejection by God. The gospel of free grace was very costly to Christ. She sees this at this dinner. Jesus hangs out with sinners and so, these religious authorities could not accept him. Jesus had to bear under the scorn and disrespect of these men. The woman got a glimpse of this. And she breaks out in tears. Not a little, but a torrent of years. Simon did not wash His feet. He certainly wouldn't offer a towel. So she lets down her hair to wipe Jesus' feet. This would have been shocking to people of this day and age. A woman only let down her hair for her husband. So when she let down her hair, she was saying that Jesus was deserving of everything. And seeing that Christ got no kiss of greeting, she kissed his feet in reverence. This perfume was probably the most expensive thing in her life. And she poured it out on his feet.

Jesus lays it out. He points out Simon lack of hospitality. He shares a parable of debtors. God is owed everything, but we are guilty of ignoring God. This is everyone. Even the religious owe God, but they think they can take care of their own debts. But in the parable, Jesus lets us know that neither of them can repay. So even if the debts are different, both of them are bankrupt! The amount makes no difference! The difference in amount is purely technical, it makes no practical difference. Both moral and immoral, religious and irreligious cannot repay the debt. Jesus pays the debt with His life. Simon thinks he can repay, so he doesn't care. This woman knows she cannot repay! She is in need of a savior and so she is forgiven.

Those who think little of sin, think little of Jesus. This is Simon. Those who think much of sin, think the world of Jesus. This is the woman.

Who are you?

Do you examine Jesus from afar? Is it just a somber attitude or is there something more? Or do you think of Jesus and find yourself overwhelmed by tears of joy? Is your life filled with comfort or are you willing to bear rejection/pain for Christ? Are you struck by your great indebtedness and the greatness of God's forgiveness? Do we have "acceptable sins" that we think acceptable before God and men? Anger, discontent, & complacency all point to how we have forgotten God. Jesus points to this prostitute as one who can teach us a right attitude before God. We who have been forgiven much, the remembrance of it, brings us back to love the one who paid the debt for us.

Hope for the failures

John 21:14-19

There are people who've become paralyzed by failure. For those of us who struggle with this, there is hope.

In this passage, this hope is shown. Peter is one of the closest disciples of Jesus. He is the inner circle. And Peter fails. But look at how Jesus treats Peter...

Jesus calls us to face our failure

Jesus reminds Peter of his failure. Not just once, but three times. In front of a fire, just like where Peter failed Jesus. He makes Peter face it and own it. Peter answers humbly and tentatively. Jesus wanted to teach Peter something. Jesus asked the question in order to teach Peter something. Failure comes because we don't love Jesus. It comes because we depend on our own strength. We need to love and trust Him.

We come to Jesus because He died for our failures.

Jesus knew that Peter was going to fail. Jesus predicted as much. He knew what was going to happen. But Jesus paid for those failures. That is why we are drawn to Christ. His death paid for it all.

Jesus redeems and restores our failures

Grace is not the way the world works. Ex-cons don't really get a second chance. But look at how Jesus treats Peter after his failure. Peter is called again to shepherd and pastor the church. After the monumental failure. God restores him back to a fisher of men. The failure does not break Peter, but rather it makes him more useful for God. God takes us through failures and can make us more useful for God's purposes.

Our response

The proper response to a God who loves, forgives, restores, redeems, and loves...is to lay down our lives and submit to Him. Those who are forgiven much... Love much.

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The Peacemaking Church: Speaking the Truth in Love

[James 3:1-12]

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

{Rev. Dwight Yoo}

For the peace-making series we've been covering, Ken Sande largely covers practical ways to make peace. But today we are going to cover a very broad topic: the tongue and how it impacts our life.

Words are Powerful

Verse 3-5 reads: "If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things."

This generation might not consider words in this light because of things like twitter and blogger. Words are a dime a dozen. But consider all the upheaval around the world, all the revolutions and regime changes. These came from ideas, from words... They can inspire, give hope. They can also incredible negative and destructive effects. "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" - Proverbs 18:21

Controlling your tongue is difficult

Professional athletes train, eat properly, sleep properly... they live very, very disciplined lives to perform at that level. But how hard it is for them to control their tongue? Consider how these same athletes say such ridiculous things.

How do we change?

Verses 10-12: "With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water."

James refers to this duality in the Christian life. We have people who profess to be followers of Christ, yet have such hatred of others. How can someone who knows love still be so hateful?

"Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." - Matthew 12:33-37

There are two different kinds of trees (people) and they treasure different things. If we would treasure Christ & God, then this will be reflected in our fruit and in our speech. If we would treasure other things (idols), then this too will be reflected. Those who trust and love God, then your speech will be loving and gracious. If your speech is hateful, bitter, spiteful, & hurtful, then we are trusting in something else. Our words reveal our heart. So the way to change our words is to change our heart. Humanly this is impossible. So what we must do is this, submit our hearts to God.

The purpose of our words

We are made in the image of God. He is a God who speaks. In Genesis 1, God spoke... and everything was created. Not only that, but He creates things for love. But in Genesis 3, another voice speaks. It is our primary enemy, Satan. He twists God's word and misleads man. Man is twisted and so is his words. Neither he nor his words reflect God. But there is hope... The WORD became flesh. Jesus came. And He came to redeem and restore. Jesus will restore everything, including our speech. God is drawing people back to Himself. That is the role of our speech.

"All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." - 2 Corinthians 5:18-21

We are here to give the message of Christ. That is what our words are for. For those who do not know Christ, our words are to represent Christ and to draw them to God. For those who do know Christ, our words are to draw them closer to God.

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God." - Colossians 3:16

"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." - Ephesians 4:15-16

The entire church has been given the ministry of the Word. It is not only for the pastoral staff and biblical counselors. We should be building and encouraging each other in Christ. How much of our speech really draws people to Christ?

David Powlison - Speaking the Truth in Love: 4 out of 22 scenes where Jesus is speaking contains sermons. The other 18 scenes show Him speaking, dialoging, eating with others.

The Peacemaking Church: How To Approach Those Who Have Wronged You

[Matthew 18:15-20]

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."

{Rev. Dwight Yoo}

Let us first bow our heads and pray for those who are brokenhearted in Japan.

While these principles can be widely applied to all our relationships, this is specifically for those who have sinned against us in church. It is for brothers and sisters within the body. There is an assumption that the people here are committed to a church body. They know other members and the leadership. It is an assumption of membership. If you have been here for awhile, please consider becoming a member of the church.

Verse 15

If your brother sins against you, go! While some sins can and should be overlooked in love, there are some that we should bring up and confront.

You need to GO and tell them, if their actions...
- Dishonor God.
- Damage your relationship.
- Hurt others.
- Hurts themselves.

What excuses stand in our way?
- We claim that we should be forgiving all the time.
- We think we are being judgmental.
- We think only the Holy Spirit should be doing this.
- We don't want to confront others.

Between you and them alone.
While it is wise to seek counsel, we should not be talking to everyone but the person who offended you. Usually the heart behind it is one of trying to get them on YOUR side. "Oh, that person is so wicked." "So jacked up" But if we are not seeking counsel, we are gossiping and slandering. God is not pleased. Satan, however, is very pleased.

Go with the right attitude.
- Go as a fellow sinner, as a servant... to build up and restore (Galatians 6:1)
+ Watch out for pride & judgment of others.
+ Be mindful that we may struggle differently, but we all struggle.

Verse 16
- Take one or two others along

Verse 17
- Take one of two others along again.

These one or two others are there to reconcile. They are there to be a force for peacemaking. Note that there is nothing here in regards to agreement between both parties on when to call in a third party from the body. This third party is not here to be on ANYONE's side. They are there to bring peace. If this does not work, this matter should be brought to the church leadership. The third party will then play a role as a witness to the leadership. If this does not bring about peace and reconciliation, then they will be treated as unbelievers. What does that mean? It means that you still love them, you still pursue them, but you ask them whether they truly know Christ and the gospel. They are not to be condemned, but the nature of the relationship changes. Their actions do not reflect one who has the Spirit living within them. There is a lack of grace, a lack of love, & no desire for true peace.

"Nothing is so cruel as the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Keep in mind that we sometimes need to wound people to save them. When doctors are dealing with those who have cancer, it is not cruel to cut them open to remove the tumor(s). It may be strange to see someone cutting someone open (from afar, not knowing the situation). But it is the most loving thing to do.