[James 3:1-12]
Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.
How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.
{Rev. Dwight Yoo}
For the peace-making series we've been covering, Ken Sande largely covers practical ways to make peace. But today we are going to cover a very broad topic: the tongue and how it impacts our life.
Words are Powerful
Verse 3-5 reads: "If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things."
This generation might not consider words in this light because of things like twitter and blogger. Words are a dime a dozen. But consider all the upheaval around the world, all the revolutions and regime changes. These came from ideas, from words... They can inspire, give hope. They can also incredible negative and destructive effects. "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" - Proverbs 18:21
Controlling your tongue is difficult
Professional athletes train, eat properly, sleep properly... they live very, very disciplined lives to perform at that level. But how hard it is for them to control their tongue? Consider how these same athletes say such ridiculous things.
How do we change?
Verses 10-12: "With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water."
James refers to this duality in the Christian life. We have people who profess to be followers of Christ, yet have such hatred of others. How can someone who knows love still be so hateful?
"Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." - Matthew 12:33-37
There are two different kinds of trees (people) and they treasure different things. If we would treasure Christ & God, then this will be reflected in our fruit and in our speech. If we would treasure other things (idols), then this too will be reflected. Those who trust and love God, then your speech will be loving and gracious. If your speech is hateful, bitter, spiteful, & hurtful, then we are trusting in something else. Our words reveal our heart. So the way to change our words is to change our heart. Humanly this is impossible. So what we must do is this, submit our hearts to God.
The purpose of our words
We are made in the image of God. He is a God who speaks. In Genesis 1, God spoke... and everything was created. Not only that, but He creates things for love. But in Genesis 3, another voice speaks. It is our primary enemy, Satan. He twists God's word and misleads man. Man is twisted and so is his words. Neither he nor his words reflect God. But there is hope... The WORD became flesh. Jesus came. And He came to redeem and restore. Jesus will restore everything, including our speech. God is drawing people back to Himself. That is the role of our speech.
"All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." - 2 Corinthians 5:18-21
We are here to give the message of Christ. That is what our words are for. For those who do not know Christ, our words are to represent Christ and to draw them to God. For those who do know Christ, our words are to draw them closer to God.
"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God." - Colossians 3:16
"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." - Ephesians 4:15-16
The entire church has been given the ministry of the Word. It is not only for the pastoral staff and biblical counselors. We should be building and encouraging each other in Christ. How much of our speech really draws people to Christ?
David Powlison - Speaking the Truth in Love: 4 out of 22 scenes where Jesus is speaking contains sermons. The other 18 scenes show Him speaking, dialoging, eating with others.
Mar 13, 2011
The Peacemaking Church: How To Approach Those Who Have Wronged You
[Matthew 18:15-20]
"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."
{Rev. Dwight Yoo}
Let us first bow our heads and pray for those who are brokenhearted in Japan.
While these principles can be widely applied to all our relationships, this is specifically for those who have sinned against us in church. It is for brothers and sisters within the body. There is an assumption that the people here are committed to a church body. They know other members and the leadership. It is an assumption of membership. If you have been here for awhile, please consider becoming a member of the church.
Verse 15
If your brother sins against you, go! While some sins can and should be overlooked in love, there are some that we should bring up and confront.
You need to GO and tell them, if their actions...
- Dishonor God.
- Damage your relationship.
- Hurt others.
- Hurts themselves.
What excuses stand in our way?
- We claim that we should be forgiving all the time.
- We think we are being judgmental.
- We think only the Holy Spirit should be doing this.
- We don't want to confront others.
Between you and them alone.
While it is wise to seek counsel, we should not be talking to everyone but the person who offended you. Usually the heart behind it is one of trying to get them on YOUR side. "Oh, that person is so wicked." "So jacked up" But if we are not seeking counsel, we are gossiping and slandering. God is not pleased. Satan, however, is very pleased.
Go with the right attitude.
- Go as a fellow sinner, as a servant... to build up and restore (Galatians 6:1)
+ Watch out for pride & judgment of others.
+ Be mindful that we may struggle differently, but we all struggle.
Verse 16
- Take one or two others along
Verse 17
- Take one of two others along again.
These one or two others are there to reconcile. They are there to be a force for peacemaking. Note that there is nothing here in regards to agreement between both parties on when to call in a third party from the body. This third party is not here to be on ANYONE's side. They are there to bring peace. If this does not work, this matter should be brought to the church leadership. The third party will then play a role as a witness to the leadership. If this does not bring about peace and reconciliation, then they will be treated as unbelievers. What does that mean? It means that you still love them, you still pursue them, but you ask them whether they truly know Christ and the gospel. They are not to be condemned, but the nature of the relationship changes. Their actions do not reflect one who has the Spirit living within them. There is a lack of grace, a lack of love, & no desire for true peace.
"Nothing is so cruel as the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Keep in mind that we sometimes need to wound people to save them. When doctors are dealing with those who have cancer, it is not cruel to cut them open to remove the tumor(s). It may be strange to see someone cutting someone open (from afar, not knowing the situation). But it is the most loving thing to do.
"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."
{Rev. Dwight Yoo}
Let us first bow our heads and pray for those who are brokenhearted in Japan.
While these principles can be widely applied to all our relationships, this is specifically for those who have sinned against us in church. It is for brothers and sisters within the body. There is an assumption that the people here are committed to a church body. They know other members and the leadership. It is an assumption of membership. If you have been here for awhile, please consider becoming a member of the church.
Verse 15
If your brother sins against you, go! While some sins can and should be overlooked in love, there are some that we should bring up and confront.
You need to GO and tell them, if their actions...
- Dishonor God.
- Damage your relationship.
- Hurt others.
- Hurts themselves.
What excuses stand in our way?
- We claim that we should be forgiving all the time.
- We think we are being judgmental.
- We think only the Holy Spirit should be doing this.
- We don't want to confront others.
Between you and them alone.
While it is wise to seek counsel, we should not be talking to everyone but the person who offended you. Usually the heart behind it is one of trying to get them on YOUR side. "Oh, that person is so wicked." "So jacked up" But if we are not seeking counsel, we are gossiping and slandering. God is not pleased. Satan, however, is very pleased.
Go with the right attitude.
- Go as a fellow sinner, as a servant... to build up and restore (Galatians 6:1)
+ Watch out for pride & judgment of others.
+ Be mindful that we may struggle differently, but we all struggle.
Verse 16
- Take one or two others along
Verse 17
- Take one of two others along again.
These one or two others are there to reconcile. They are there to be a force for peacemaking. Note that there is nothing here in regards to agreement between both parties on when to call in a third party from the body. This third party is not here to be on ANYONE's side. They are there to bring peace. If this does not work, this matter should be brought to the church leadership. The third party will then play a role as a witness to the leadership. If this does not bring about peace and reconciliation, then they will be treated as unbelievers. What does that mean? It means that you still love them, you still pursue them, but you ask them whether they truly know Christ and the gospel. They are not to be condemned, but the nature of the relationship changes. Their actions do not reflect one who has the Spirit living within them. There is a lack of grace, a lack of love, & no desire for true peace.
"Nothing is so cruel as the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Keep in mind that we sometimes need to wound people to save them. When doctors are dealing with those who have cancer, it is not cruel to cut them open to remove the tumor(s). It may be strange to see someone cutting someone open (from afar, not knowing the situation). But it is the most loving thing to do.
Mar 6, 2011
The Peacemaking Church: Confession Brings Freedom
{Various Passages}
[Rev. Dwight Yoo]
The last sermon in this series is very important for understanding this message and even for your own spiritual and personal life. I highly recommend that you listen to it. (Conflict starts in the heart (mp3))
We are broken people, with broken relationships. Nine inch nails describes this in a song called Hurt(YouTube).
It is into a world of brokenness that Jesus came into. He is the one who stepped into all this brokenness and gives us hope for healing. Not only this, but He also calls us to be His ambassadors to the world. To point people to this hope we have in Christ. So Christians should have a suspicion of our intentions and our heart. We should jump to admit where we have gone wrong and our conflicts with others.
Confession before God
All offenses against others are ultimately a sin against God.
"For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment." - Psalm 51:3-4
"He is not greater in this house than I am, nor has he kept back anything from me except yourself, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?" - Genesis 39:9
"Yet this is what Jesus did. He told people that their sins were forgiven, and never waited to consult all the other people whom their sins had undoubtedly injured. He unhesitatingly behaved as if He was the party chiefly concerned, the person chiefly offended in all offences. This makes sense only if He really was the God whose laws are broken and whose love is wounded in every sin." - C.S. Lewis "Mere Christianity"
Why are sins against others, sins against God?
- God is their Maker = Proverbs 13:21
- Christ is the Head of His Body = Ephesians 1, 4, and Colossians 1
- God commands us to love others = Matthew 22:37-40
- God commands us to love Him first = Exodus 20:3
For those of us who think that since we are in not in conflict with others and everything seems peaceful, we don't think this applies to us. We'll take some notes and remind others to resolve their conflicts. I warn you that you still may have sins of omission. Sins where you are falling short of things God commands. You are selfish and not loving others. You are not there for others.
What happens when love something over God?
Say what we are living for is success. What happens when someone gets in your way at work? You will punish them. You will back stab, start rumors, and do anything to keep your career on track. Or you'll neglect your family.
So how should we confess?
Confess before God
- With Assurance = 1 John 1:9; Psalm 32:5; Psalm 51:12
- With Hope = Colossians 3
Confession before Others
The 7 A's of Confession
Address Everyone Involved
Heart sins do not need to be confessed to others. These are thoughts and mindset sins that never became action. They should be confessed to God. But you do not need to confess to people.
Social sins need to be confessed to others. These are sins that became action. Each person who has been sinned against should be confessed to.
Avoid If, But and Maybe
These are the quickest way to ruin an apology. They express this feeling of callousness and uncaring. The word "but" eliminates everything you said before it.
Admit specifically
This expresses exactly what you want to change and how you've wronged this person.
Acknowledge the Hurt
Don't just apologize for your action. Acknowledge the feelings and pain.
Accept the Consequences
Let them know that you accept the results of what you have done. This is the perspective of a genuine and repentant heart.
Alter your Behavior
Explain to them how you will change your behavior. How will you change your behavior?
Ask for Forgiveness (and allow time)
Sometimes we get forgiveness by the end of the apology. But there are times where they are not ready to forgive yet. The best thing to do is to give them time and be patient with them.
[Rev. Dwight Yoo]
The last sermon in this series is very important for understanding this message and even for your own spiritual and personal life. I highly recommend that you listen to it. (Conflict starts in the heart (mp3))
We are broken people, with broken relationships. Nine inch nails describes this in a song called Hurt(YouTube).
It is into a world of brokenness that Jesus came into. He is the one who stepped into all this brokenness and gives us hope for healing. Not only this, but He also calls us to be His ambassadors to the world. To point people to this hope we have in Christ. So Christians should have a suspicion of our intentions and our heart. We should jump to admit where we have gone wrong and our conflicts with others.
Confession before God
All offenses against others are ultimately a sin against God.
"For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment." - Psalm 51:3-4
"He is not greater in this house than I am, nor has he kept back anything from me except yourself, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?" - Genesis 39:9
"Yet this is what Jesus did. He told people that their sins were forgiven, and never waited to consult all the other people whom their sins had undoubtedly injured. He unhesitatingly behaved as if He was the party chiefly concerned, the person chiefly offended in all offences. This makes sense only if He really was the God whose laws are broken and whose love is wounded in every sin." - C.S. Lewis "Mere Christianity"
Why are sins against others, sins against God?
- God is their Maker = Proverbs 13:21
- Christ is the Head of His Body = Ephesians 1, 4, and Colossians 1
- God commands us to love others = Matthew 22:37-40
- God commands us to love Him first = Exodus 20:3
For those of us who think that since we are in not in conflict with others and everything seems peaceful, we don't think this applies to us. We'll take some notes and remind others to resolve their conflicts. I warn you that you still may have sins of omission. Sins where you are falling short of things God commands. You are selfish and not loving others. You are not there for others.
What happens when love something over God?
Say what we are living for is success. What happens when someone gets in your way at work? You will punish them. You will back stab, start rumors, and do anything to keep your career on track. Or you'll neglect your family.
So how should we confess?
Confess before God
- With Assurance = 1 John 1:9; Psalm 32:5; Psalm 51:12
- With Hope = Colossians 3
Confession before Others
The 7 A's of Confession
Address Everyone Involved
Heart sins do not need to be confessed to others. These are thoughts and mindset sins that never became action. They should be confessed to God. But you do not need to confess to people.
Social sins need to be confessed to others. These are sins that became action. Each person who has been sinned against should be confessed to.
Avoid If, But and Maybe
These are the quickest way to ruin an apology. They express this feeling of callousness and uncaring. The word "but" eliminates everything you said before it.
Admit specifically
This expresses exactly what you want to change and how you've wronged this person.
Acknowledge the Hurt
Don't just apologize for your action. Acknowledge the feelings and pain.
Accept the Consequences
Let them know that you accept the results of what you have done. This is the perspective of a genuine and repentant heart.
Alter your Behavior
Explain to them how you will change your behavior. How will you change your behavior?
Ask for Forgiveness (and allow time)
Sometimes we get forgiveness by the end of the apology. But there are times where they are not ready to forgive yet. The best thing to do is to give them time and be patient with them.
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